My Daughter's Birthmother

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My Daughter's Birthmother - My Relative

Phyllis Lowinger, ACSW

from STAR TRACKS - Purim, 1995
My daughter has a picture of her birthmother that she was given at the age of nine. She carries a copy of this picture in her wallet and has taken her other copy and put it in a magnetic frame on our refrigerator door. Next to her birthmother's picture on the refrigerator she has placed a picture of the two of us with our arms around each other. She has connected the two pictures with a magnet that says "Have I told you lately that I love you?"
I like my daughter's birthmother. I always have. Even though we have never met, I like what I was told about her. I admired her for her courage to deal with such a major decision at such an early age in her life.
When my daughter was four, through an intermediary, her birthmother requested her picture. I requested a picture of the birthmother and confessed to a desire to find out more about who she was and what her interests and talents were. Finding out this information made me like her more and feel closer to her.
The dictionary defines the word RELATIVE as "related each to the other; dependent upon; having to do with; pertinent; relevant; a person connected by blood or marriage; kinship."
We're not related by blood or marriage, but like kinship, our relationship is ever so connected. For without my daughter's birthmother, my daughter would not be here and without me she wouldn't be the person she is.
I like who my daughter is. I think I'll get another magnet like the first, and place it between a picture of my daughter and her birthmother "Have I told you today that I love you?"
(Phyllis Lowinger, ACSW is Deborah Greene's mother and a psychotherapist specializing in infertility and adoption issues. She heads six-week parenting groups for adoptive parents through the 92nd Street YM-YWHA, NYC.)
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Update your contact information! Contact Us How to Help Us		My Daughter's Birthmother - My Relative Phyllis Lowinger, ACSW from STAR TRACKS - Purim, 1995 My daughter has a picture of her birthmother that she was given at the age of nine. She carries a copy of this picture in her wallet and has taken her other copy and put it in a magnetic frame on our refrigerator door. Next to her birthmother's picture on the refrigerator she has placed a picture of the two of us with our arms around each other. She has connected the two pictures with a magnet that says "Have I told you lately that I love you?" I like my daughter's birthmother. I always have. Even though we have never met, I like what I was told about her. I admired her for her courage to deal with such a major decision at such an early age in her life. When my daughter was four, through an intermediary, her birthmother requested her picture. I requested a picture of the birthmother and confessed to a desire to find out more about who she was and what her interests and talents were. Finding out this information made me like her more and feel closer to her. The dictionary defines the word RELATIVE as "related each to the other; dependent upon; having to do with; pertinent; relevant; a person connected by blood or marriage; kinship." We're not related by blood or marriage, but like kinship, our relationship is ever so connected. For without my daughter's birthmother, my daughter would not be here and without me she wouldn't be the person she is. I like who my daughter is. I think I'll get another magnet like the first, and place it between a picture of my daughter and her birthmother "Have I told you today that I love you?" (Phyllis Lowinger, ACSW is Deborah Greene's mother and a psychotherapist specializing in infertility and adoption issues. She heads six-week parenting groups for adoptive parents through the 92nd Street YM-YWHA, NYC.) Return to Articles & Books on Jewish Adoption Return to Stars of David Home Page


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